I don't believe I can chance watching the news any more today. I have a bad feeling that if I turn on my television and flip over to MSNBC or CNN that I'm going to throw a very large, hard object directly at the screen. And even as I write this email, I'm grinding my teeth and my palms are getting sweaty just thinking of what that moment will be like when I press the power button. Pre-meditated murder of an electronic device. ARGH! Why?!?! Why must I have be tortured like this on a daily/weekly basis?!?!? What is it? Dare I utter the two most ugliest words in the English language right now? Ok, I need blog therapy...so I will make it known. The two ugliest words...PARIS HILTON!
I said it. Whew, what a weight off my chest! Like most of you, you have been watching your favorite news program or blowing spitballs at Nancy Grace in the evening when all of a sudden....BREAKING NEWS!!! Paris Hilton has been freed from prison. At first you grab the remote and utter a few obscenities about the situation. But then...you seriously get angry at the situation. What the...!?!?!??! And that's when it happens -- you start to watch, listen, and grip your remote to the point of squeezing all the energy out of the AA batteries. Are you kidding me? What would possess someone to free this troublesome wart from prison. Medical condition????!?!? COME ON! Just when I thought the train derailed with Nancy Grace, I have a new found villain that is being hoisted up the flag pole.
Medical condition?!? Ok, I will admit that I have spent the "occasional" overnight stay in the local county jail when I was younger; much younger. But I don't recall ever seeing or hearing of anyone being released from jail because of a medical condition. I've seen episodes of Cops where they would show people with bullet wounds go to the hospital still shackled to their bed, but let go because of a medical condition??? MSNBC has an outstanding program called LockUp that shows the hard life of going to prison. Some of the inmates are stabbed, beat up, and lose their entire lives by going to prison for their crimes, but you don't see them getting free "get out of jail" treatment. They even had a case in Georgia where a young man was sentenced to 10 years for consensual sex -- where the young lady admitted and consented to the act -- however, the state law prohibited an older man having any sexual relations with an underage (consenting) woman. So 10 years for oral sex, people being stabbed left and right that are currently in prison, drunk tank for the weekend...yet we give the heiress to a hotel franchise the keys to the front door? Because she was on the edge of a nervous breakdown?!?!? Whatever they are smoking in Los Angeles needs to be available over the counter for the masses.
And let's tip our hat to the Los Angeles County Sheriff in all of this. "She will still serve out her sentence at home and we will monitor her movement". Let's see...if I had a choice of house arrest or serving time in a jail cell -- damn, that's a tough one. Who wouldn’t choose staying at home?!?!? How is she service out her sentence when she can invite 1/2 of Los Angeles to her mansion for parties, “That’s Hot” get together, BBQ's (not that I can even begin to picture Paris as a rib eater), and sun bathing. What a sentence. Damn if the jail she was in was less harsh than this, please ensure that they start a franchise soon throughout the US. Honestly, they truly wonder why people believe that celebrities can get off with murder; OJ!
Now since it has turned into a media circus, Paris is being hauled back to court -- to the judge who originally stated that there was to be no electronic monitoring -- for a ruling on her sentence. My bet is that she will go back to jail for a few more days and then it will all be over with come this weekend...she will see the light of day. Not because of SARS, contact with Andrew Speaker, or because of another MTV rock star engagement. Nope. I'm sure that the circus will have died down and they will just let her go due to her serving more than 10% of her sentence and the jail is "so overcrowded". It is unfortunate that the most prosperous country in the world that everyone is banging their heads to get into, is also the most hypocritical. It all comes down to this...the all mighty dollar rules everything. No matter if you are black, white, fat, skinny, Scientologist, Muslim, white-collar, blue collar, bowler, or Pacman Jones; if you got the green, you get off clean. What a great message this sends to kids all around the world. Money, beauty, and sex tapes will get you anything/everything. And to the rest of America that can't afford the $200 per hour attorneys out there? Stick to Maury Povich and bend over in your prison cell. Your mental breakdown is about to come true....and trust me, he looks nothing like Paris Hilton.
So please help me save my TV! Lock her back in her cell, call off the media circus, and hopefully Paris does us all a favor...learn from this. Be an adult, take your big gulp of reality, pack up your bags when it’s all over, go home to mommy and daddy, and take over the hotel franchise when the time is right. Be a "somebody". If you want people to look up to you and respect you, learn from this and put your life on the right track. And for those of you who say, "all you have to do is change the channel"...fine. I agree with you. However, I shouldn't have to watch QVC and Iowa Public Television -- that's just wrong and would cause me to have a mental breakdown.
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