Rants and Opinions

So what do you do with a passing listing or comment about your company in the public domain? Good or Bad? In my opinion, leave well enough alone.

This past weekend, while I had all of five minutes between the kid’s activities, I picked up this month’s issue of a well known business magazine. The article discussed the varying levels of hosting. It covered shared, dedicated, managed and even the cloud and grid concepts. The author even had a listing of providers in each space. Surprising to me, FastServers was listed as a “name provider” in the managed section. I showed the article to my wife, who took a few minutes to review parts of the article (I think it was her attempt to glean some insight as to what I do all day). She then said “Well, that’s nice, but what do you do with it?"

It's very easy to write a blog and put a link to that publication. (Sorry, i'm not that shameful, at least this week). That would be a way to capitalize on the listing. I could title it “JOE’S MAGAZINE Recommends FastServers for Managed Servers!” Sure would look nice, but it wouldn’t exactly be true. I could also just put the link in this blog and state that we were listed. That wouldn’t be bad either. Then again, the other companies we play with in the space were listed as well, so i’d be calling just as much attention to them. Overall, it would be missing the point. The best thing is to leave it alone. Especially if it’s a negative comment.

We’ve been in business a long time. We have some people who love us to death. Others, well..they might not wish us well. It’s the nature of doing business. When you have thousands of customers, its impossible for everyone to be happy. There are some people who will call or email us and express their displeasure. There are some who will signify their displeasure with their wallet…they’ll just go somewhere else. And there are those who will go into the public domain and let their voices be heard. In all cases, as much as you want/try to help, you may not prevent any of those situations from happening.

For those familiar with this industry, there are publications and forums dedicated to discussions on every aspect of hosting. And if you do read them, you see people who will profess their displeasure with a host (just as much as others promote a host they love). So what if the opposite happened..we get listed as one of the worst providers? Leave it alone.

Years back, would I engage people who I felt that “flamed” us on a board, or in an email? I might. Did it help? On the very rarest occasion, yes. Partly because I got my aggressions of the day out of my system. Partly because I felt good about standing up for my hosting family. But did it help my company? More often than not, it didn’t help at all. There were the times that literally threw kerosene on the fire (nothing like have someone call your CEO and add you to their list of issues). There are times that I’d try to help, but unfortunately the situation is too far gone for any multitude of reasons. And is it really beneficial to scold a customer who rants about how lousy you treat them, even if they didn’t pay their bill? Or stretches the truth about the situation that occurred? Not one bit.

In the end, what’s best is to work with every client, every day and treat them like you’d like to be treated when you buy something. Give them value for the price and support the product. And if you do that, things have a tendency to take care of themselves. And who knows, maybe those nice passing mentions will keep coming.

As winter is in full effect there is one sure sign that spring is just around the corner… Pitchers and catchers report in less than one week! Not only does this mean that there is an end in sight to the bitterly cold and snowy winter but it also means opening day for the 2008 Major League Baseball season is almost here. Every team and every player has a fresh start: Even the Devil Rays technically have a chance to win the World Series and Alfonso Soriano could conceivably hit a curve ball. Pot holes will eventually get filled and your favorite ball parks will eventually reopen to thousands of screaming fans and all the good things that come along with America’s pastime; beer, hot dogs, bench clearing brawls, home runs, double steals and great entertainment.

The FastServers’ team has great camaraderie but the baseball season definitely makes FastServers’ employees choose sides… FastServers’ President Ian Andrusyk and VP of HR Jara Andrusyk root for the Minnesota Twins, Chief Technical Officer Travis Schaffner is a Cardinals fan, Director of Business Development Mark Luptak is a Blue Jays fan, Account Rep Mo Kabre and Tech Team Member Nick Shredders are KC Royals fans, Director of Inside Sales Steven Anderson and Tech Team Member Greg Kuiper root for Chicago's south side White Sox. As for myself, I root for the 1907 – 1908, back to back World Series champion, Chicago Cubs. Although other Chicago teams haven’t fared well this year, could this be the year that Cubs return to the World Series? Not likely as most sports books have them at 12/1 but what the hell do they know, the New York Giants were 12 point underdogs.

The last time I wrote a blog post I predicted that the Chicago Bears would win the Super Bowl (we all know how that turned out) so I won’t go that far for the Cubs but I will say that they will win the National League Central. Other prognostications include the following playoff teams…

National League:
West - Diamondbacks
Central - Cubs
East - Mets
Wild Card – Dodgers

American League:
West - Mariners
Central - Tigers
East –Red Sox
Wild Card - Indians

I apologize to those FastServers employees whose teams aren’t listed, better luck next year.

In any event, enjoy the last few weeks of winter because baseball season is just around the corner. Get your office fantasy team started and get ready for another great season!

I still recall those early days when I first started learning how to compile the C++ programming language, trying to understand how this object oriented platform could possibly make a difference in the computing world. It didn’t take long until I realized that I could tell C to compute the distance between A and B based on two variables given by the user. The output was beautiful and fast. The true value of a language is its ability to be customized to fit specific needs and simplify lives. The engineering world has seen more than 5,000 languages and continues to rise because of trends and challenges being introduced on a daily basis. So, what’s the point in telling you about C++ and why it’s the true computer language?

During HostingCon 2007 I had a chance to meet Bryan Gan, CEO of Comdev, a leading
developer of high-quality web components built on Object-Oriented Technology (OOT) using C++. Gan embraced the idea of Software as a Service (SaaS) and created a web based interface to minimize efforts and costs to customers by deploying “web applications under one administration tool.” The application itself works just like a desktop environment - it’s that easy! The lengthy programming need for interactive web pages and customization of specific features are no longer needed because of the “plug-and-play” web based applications developed by Comdev.

If you had a chance to read the latest blog post by Ian Andrusyk, CEO of FastServers.Net, he emphasizes that the SaaS model is “the new buzz word” and is indeed the re-invented idea of simplifying the use of software and making it available for the world wide web. I took this idea a little further and thought maybe we can really take a step back and say: there wouldn’t be a reliable SaaS without a reliable hosting platform. That said, FastServers.Net has created an environment ideal to the SaaS community where you and your clients can easily host your applications that will grow as your SaaS business grows. And the best part about the FastServers.Net infrastructure is its scalability and resources available to help you keep your business running at maximum uptime. The last thing you need is downtime. So with a reliable SaaS hosting provider, like FastServers.Net, you will have the best tools and resources to help your business grow.

In my opinion, the possibility of creating software that transcends its time and dominates its peers relies on localization. You may be able to create a very trendy application, but how well can it excel within a given environment. This is exactly why some of the big players in software development like Microsoft and SWSoft are calling upon the power of human language to help in delivering the message. For example, Windows 2000, Windows XP, and Windows Server 2003 products are available in more than 80 languages. Plesk 8.2 by SWSoft comes with several language packs enabling its users to view their control panel using their own locale for a better, more localized web hosting experience. And for that I congratulate them on building a product that supports many languages, not just English.

There are about 6000+ languages in the world. That means we still have a lot of work ahead of us if we are going to support all 6,000+ languages. Then again, why don’t we just globalize the market and impose a specific language for all to use? Maybe that’s a done deal (English?), but on the other hand, I am really talking about the type of customers looking for custom solutions to fit within their specific geographical areas.

HostingCon 2007 had a great session "90% of the Hosting Market is Still Untapped!" that explored the Web 2.0 and SaaS ecosystems with an emphasis on trends to look for in the emerging IT markets. You may be thinking 90% - really? The answer is yes. One of the things that attracted me to FastServers.Net is its international presence. We have the familiarity and flexibility to work with the world. We understand your local needs and our engineers from sales to support to management are always willing to listen and create scalable solutions to help your organization grow. Whether you are located in the beautiful Tygervalley, South Africa (Webnow) to splendid New Zealand with (ProActive Software), or anywhere in the world, our dedicated servers are “sans-frontieres” which means “no limit” in French. In fact, we have some off-lease, yet very powerful and robust DELL PowerEdge servers that are currently on specials waiting to be customized just for you. Even if you are not an SaaS provider, we can still customize a solution that’s right for your organization.

The true computer language is the one that seeks to integrate human language for the sole purpose of creating a service. Go ahead and program, but remember to expand and reach an even bigger audience.

I don't believe I can chance watching the news any more today. I have a bad feeling that if I turn on my television and flip over to MSNBC or CNN that I'm going to throw a very large, hard object directly at the screen. And even as I write this email, I'm grinding my teeth and my palms are getting sweaty just thinking of what that moment will be like when I press the power button. Pre-meditated murder of an electronic device. ARGH! Why?!?! Why must I have be tortured like this on a daily/weekly basis?!?!? What is it? Dare I utter the two most ugliest words in the English language right now? Ok, I need blog therapy...so I will make it known. The two ugliest words...PARIS HILTON!

I said it. Whew, what a weight off my chest! Like most of you, you have been watching your favorite news program or blowing spitballs at Nancy Grace in the evening when all of a sudden....BREAKING NEWS!!! Paris Hilton has been freed from prison. At first you grab the remote and utter a few obscenities about the situation. But then...you seriously get angry at the situation. What the...!?!?!??! And that's when it happens -- you start to watch, listen, and grip your remote to the point of squeezing all the energy out of the AA batteries. Are you kidding me? What would possess someone to free this troublesome wart from prison. Medical condition????!?!? COME ON! Just when I thought the train derailed with Nancy Grace, I have a new found villain that is being hoisted up the flag pole.

Medical condition?!? Ok, I will admit that I have spent the "occasional" overnight stay in the local county jail when I was younger; much younger. But I don't recall ever seeing or hearing of anyone being released from jail because of a medical condition. I've seen episodes of Cops where they would show people with bullet wounds go to the hospital still shackled to their bed, but let go because of a medical condition??? MSNBC has an outstanding program called LockUp that shows the hard life of going to prison. Some of the inmates are stabbed, beat up, and lose their entire lives by going to prison for their crimes, but you don't see them getting free "get out of jail" treatment. They even had a case in Georgia where a young man was sentenced to 10 years for consensual sex -- where the young lady admitted and consented to the act -- however, the state law prohibited an older man having any sexual relations with an underage (consenting) woman. So 10 years for oral sex, people being stabbed left and right that are currently in prison, drunk tank for the weekend...yet we give the heiress to a hotel franchise the keys to the front door? Because she was on the edge of a nervous breakdown?!?!? Whatever they are smoking in Los Angeles needs to be available over the counter for the masses.

And let's tip our hat to the Los Angeles County Sheriff in all of this. "She will still serve out her sentence at home and we will monitor her movement". Let's see...if I had a choice of house arrest or serving time in a jail cell -- damn, that's a tough one. Who wouldn’t choose staying at home?!?!? How is she service out her sentence when she can invite 1/2 of Los Angeles to her mansion for parties, “That’s Hot” get together, BBQ's (not that I can even begin to picture Paris as a rib eater), and sun bathing. What a sentence. Damn if the jail she was in was less harsh than this, please ensure that they start a franchise soon throughout the US. Honestly, they truly wonder why people believe that celebrities can get off with murder; OJ!

Now since it has turned into a media circus, Paris is being hauled back to court -- to the judge who originally stated that there was to be no electronic monitoring -- for a ruling on her sentence. My bet is that she will go back to jail for a few more days and then it will all be over with come this weekend...she will see the light of day. Not because of SARS, contact with Andrew Speaker, or because of another MTV rock star engagement. Nope. I'm sure that the circus will have died down and they will just let her go due to her serving more than 10% of her sentence and the jail is "so overcrowded". It is unfortunate that the most prosperous country in the world that everyone is banging their heads to get into, is also the most hypocritical. It all comes down to this...the all mighty dollar rules everything. No matter if you are black, white, fat, skinny, Scientologist, Muslim, white-collar, blue collar, bowler, or Pacman Jones; if you got the green, you get off clean. What a great message this sends to kids all around the world. Money, beauty, and sex tapes will get you anything/everything. And to the rest of America that can't afford the $200 per hour attorneys out there? Stick to Maury Povich and bend over in your prison cell. Your mental breakdown is about to come true....and trust me, he looks nothing like Paris Hilton.

So please help me save my TV! Lock her back in her cell, call off the media circus, and hopefully Paris does us all a favor...learn from this. Be an adult, take your big gulp of reality, pack up your bags when it’s all over, go home to mommy and daddy, and take over the hotel franchise when the time is right. Be a "somebody". If you want people to look up to you and respect you, learn from this and put your life on the right track. And for those of you who say, "all you have to do is change the channel"...fine. I agree with you. However, I shouldn't have to watch QVC and Iowa Public Television -- that's just wrong and would cause me to have a mental breakdown.

Having lived in the Chicago-land area my whole life, I know what a great sports town Chicago is. During the summer months the city is divided between the White Sox to the south and the Cubs to the north, but during the fall and winter, the city unites and is firmly behind its Chicago Bears. Last year the Bears went to the Super Bowl for the first time in over 20 years, only to fall short to the perennial powerhouse that is the Indianapolis Colts. This off season the Bears would seem to be in great shape to return to the Super Bowl; the team has the experience that playing in the big game brings, they have money to spend in free agency and have some great picks in the upcoming draft where they can get quality players who can come in and contribute. Everything seemed to be going great, that is until Lance Briggs and his ass clown of an agent, Drew Rosenhaus, decided to get greedy.

Lance Briggs is threatening to sit out the 2007-08 season because he is insulted by the Chicago Bears putting the Franchise Tag on him. The Franchise Tag is a tool each NFL team is allowed to use once a year for one player they wish to retain for another year before reaching a long-term deal while the player would otherwise become a free agent. For exclusive free agents, which Briggs is, the player must either accept the franchise tag or sit out the season, earning no pay. This is an acceptable policy considering the pay franchise tagged players earn for their one-year of service. The first time a player is tagged, he is paid the average of the top five highest paid players at his position. In Lance Briggs case, he would be paid the average of the top five linebackers or $7,200,000 for the season. That means he is making $7.2 million for one season or $450,000 for every regular season game. And he is insulted by that? I am insulted that he is insulted.

According to the CIA World Fact Book, the average GDP per capita in America is $43,500; this means that it would take the average American over ten years to accumulate the wealth that he gets for a 60-minute game. It would take around 165 years for the average American to earn the money that he would make for six months worth or work. To tie this into dedicated servers, he could purchase close to 3,200 quality Dell PowerEdge 860 dedicated servers that come standard with CeleronD 2.53GHz Processors, 1GB RAM and Single 160GB SATA Drives which are backed by FastServers’ award winning technical team that is available 24/7/365, for one year; that’s quite a deal. And he is insulted by that? I am insulted that he is insulted.

For the past few weeks, Briggs and Rosenhaus have been speaking to various media outlets to vent about what a raw deal the Bears are offering them. Don’t expect any sympathy from me. Last off season, Briggs turned down a multi-year deal worth over $30 million not to mention a lucrative signing bonus. Upon the refusal to agree to those terms, the Bears’ front office told Briggs of their intention to use the franchise tag for the upcoming ‘07-‘08 season and Briggs did nothing; the Bears applied the tag, as promised, and now Briggs is demanding a trade all because he is insulted by the paltry money the Bears are offering. Speaking about the situation recently, Briggs said, "I've played my last snap for them. I'll never play another down for Chicago again."

If I were in charge of the Bears, I would call Briggs on his bluff and do nothing; don’t trade him, don’t release him, don’t do anything except wait for him to sign on the line that is dotted. There is no way that he is going to sit out an entire season while in his prime because he feels insulted. By waiting on Briggs, it leaves him with an easy ultimatum, either sit-out and become out of shape and rusty with no pay or play hard to impress NFL teams and earn a long term lucrative deal next year that won’t be insulting.

The Chicago Bears’ off season has been a lot more volatile than it should be for a team that is so close to attaining greatness. Although Lance Briggs has been offered an exorbitant amount of money for one season, he eyes a lucrative long-term contract and is trying to create a stir to get his way. Hopefully the Bears will just wait out his tantrum and he will play next season to the pro-bowl level he is capable of for a measly $7.2 million. If he decides to go against all logic and sit out the year, the Bears will still be an elite team and get by without him. Hopefully if Briggs does sit out, he becomes fat and no one wants him next year; I hear Curtis Enis’ garage door repair company is hiring.

First in maybe a recurring Series.So let me first clarify..I’m a sales guy at heart. I’m not your IP guru who will program the Cisco to do magic. But, I’ve been around the block for a while. And I have seen many providers come (and go). So I feel like I have some opinion on things. Usually, it’s a skewed opinion. But there are enough straight shooters on our blog that I can afford to be the smarty on a subject. Which leads me to the inaugural topic:

Volume 1: Who is Left?

Oh sure, there are a lot of names out there. And if you are like any other company, you get calls/spam from a good number of them. But who is really out there? I mean, didn’t the last five years or see an unprecedented amount of hookups. More than Britney since K-Fed became Fed-Ex? Let’s take a look at who is around the bar at 2am.

AT&T (aka, AT&T, Bell, Bell South, Pacific Bell, Ameritech, SBC…)- the big daddy. The one your boss will never fire you for buying. If you are big enough, try finding a pipe worthy of your size in the right market. I was also never a fan of the Death Star logo. Maybe cause so many copied it (see Cable & Wireless). Also, I really don’t like Oasis, who is featured way too prominently in their ad campaign.

Verizon (nee, Bell Atlantic/NYNEX, also goes by MCI and/or UUNet) – Well, I like their cell service. I also liked the UUNet name. Know why it was called “UUnet”? Answer below.

Level (3) – So I can never remember the reason they do the (3), and not just “3”. At one time, I thought it was cause of the number of companies they wanted to buy. Then I realized, it was prolly the number they were buying in a given week. Heck of a compilation of talent recently: LookingGlass, WilTel, Broadwing, Progress Telecom, ICG, TelCove, Genuity. Good network. I think “IP” to them means “Increased Pricing”. But they are cornering the market on last mile plays. Not so goofy as they would appear to be. Oh wait…its 11am..must be another Senior Note offering on their part.

Sprint- They still do IP for the common man? I think so. Someone correct me if I’m wrong. And I liked the red color scheme better than yellow. I mean, c’mon, who bought who here?

Global Crossing- I used them once in a former life. They were ok. But they have the death star logo too. Copy cats.

Cogent. So to me, they’re kinda like the WhiteSox. They want to be in contention. They get a lot of people aware of them. They shake up their roster in the off seasons (Allied Riser, OnSite Access, Fiber City, Fiber Network Solutions, Applied Theory, LambdaNet France and Spain, Carrier1, Unlimited Fiber Optics, Global Access, Aleron, NTT/Verio, Netrail, PSINet). Some of the moves work (think Jermaine Dye and Allied Riser). Some don’t (think David Wells and Applied Theory). Just waiting to see what the end game is. Win the big one, or sell the company.

Qwest. Nice spelling. Owns OnFiber now. That was a nice metroE play for a bit. Still can never get a call back from an account rep. They do Internet2, so that has to mean the IP is good, ya think? But they did have the best former CEO with a hairpiece.

SAVVIS. I like the name. its savvy. But always looked like S-a-w-i-s too, which confused me. I dunno, they’re ok. Don’t know of too many people over there. Thought they’d play just Financials. Then they got WHAM!Net (Andrew Ridgely was not part of the transaction) and I thought they’d go content. Then, they dumped content. Much like single guys, I see them playing the field for a while and then maturing.

XO – I never know where to list them. Yeah, the old Hug and Kiss has its own IP. And they’re “…bringing Concentric back” (sing it to SexyBack..seems funnier then). So lets start a company, merging together Concentric and NEXTLINK. But, let’s take one random letter from each name to form the company. Had to take the “X”, didn’t ya? Ok, well, then..um..lets use the “O”..aww, so cute.

Everyone else- Kinda buys from the aforementioned. Really, they do. yIPes (Always liked the IP spelling in the middle, just in case I forgot they do sell transit), InterNAP, and pick a tier 2-3 provider.

Hopefully, this trip down memory lane at least gave you a sense of the history of how we got to this point. And ya never know, by the time this is posted, it may all change yet again.

Luppy’s Quiz Answer: UUNet- Derived its name from Usenet and UUCP. See, I know things!

You've probably noticed: people are ill more often when the Northern Hemisphere is no longer receiving "direct sunlight"... many citizens may refer to this anomaly as The Winter Months. No worries, Clorox invented a cleaning system that even the busiest of the busy may utilize on an exceedingly frequent basis.

Behold, the life-altering, cutting edge advancement.

Our entire office in Chicago has been under the weather for the most part over the past few weeks, save one. That's me. I probably have a hand attached to a Clorox D-Wipe (that's lingo for the "informed" or "enlightened") at least 20 to 40 minutes out of each day. Why? Well, I am a messy eater, and even before that when I cook or procure nourishment it's usually a chaotic rush of sustenance flying around everywhere, be it at my desk at work or at the homestead. D-Wipes double as paper towels, vaccuum cleaners, bathroom cleansers, window washers, Q-Tips, and dust collectors. Admittedly, one of those uses does not belong and may have been fabricated by yours truly. You'll figure it out I'm sure.

Moral of story? Pick up a dozen or so of these cannisters during your next CVS/Wallgreens/grocery trip. Your immunity will be maximized and the general populace will appreciate the fact that you are no longer a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Anybody that watched Cinemax for even a moment this previous weekend will know where that came from.

Stay clean, stay focused. Have a great week!

Taking a page from my buddy Drew, I think its worthwhile to point out proper cap ettiquite. As a bald guy with many baseball caps in my collection (seriously, over 75 or so), there are certain do's and don't with your caps.

Here's the list. Heckle me at will.

1) Bend the brim appropiately. None of this ironing the brim flat or not creasing it at all. See the World Series? What was the look Anthony Reyes was after? Goofball?

2) Always mix leagues. If you have a Maple Leafs T-shirt on, don't go with the Maple Leafs hat. You don't play for the team and you also look like a idiot. Accessorize your dome with a cap choice from outside of that sport.

3) Better yet, keep a cap handy that has nothing to do with sports, just for such occasions. My fav: the Black FastServers cap!

4) Contrary to popular opinion, its ok to wear your hat backwards as long a it sits low to your head. Which leads to...

5) No High Riders. A cap should be close to your dome, not 3 feet high. Ya wanna look taller, buy platform shoes.

6) Take the tags and hollogram stickers off of the caps. Its yours, you bought it. Its not a mattress that you leave the tag on. People will see your head often. Don't be that guy.

7) Any cap that can be purchased at a gas station should not be. The racks are always full when you go to get your candy or cigs, right? Well there's a reason for that. The hats suck.

8) The main sports that should be displayed on a hat are: Baseball, football, hockey and basketball. Nothing else. Period.

9) Gaudy colors/designs are a fashion no-no. Until NASCAR gets back to primary colors (i.e. black, blue or white), they should be banned from one's noggin.

10) When going to a hockey game, wear your least favorite hat. Ya never know when there is going to be a hat trick from the home team. And you sure as heck don't want to have to toss that new $35 brim onto the ice and have the zamboni guy take it home to his kids.

Now go forth and spread the good word on the cap commandments. Happy Hattin"

Welcome to the final week of the 2006 World Series! The Fall Classic is always a good time to sit back and watch the hottest two teams in Major League Baseball do battle. This is also a time to start mourning the last days of partial-warmth and readying oneself for the white fluffy stuff (for us northerners, anyway).

While my team, the Oakland Athletics, did not make it into the World Series, they still did pretty well in the post-season versus the Minnesota Twins, before totally collapsing offensively against the Detroit Tigers in the ALCS. As the Cubs fans here in the Windy City constantly say... "There's always next year!" *sigh* Currently, in the World Series, the St. Louis Cardinals are leading the series 3 games to 1. Even though I seriously do not care who wins, I still have to cheer for our intra-league rivals. Go American League!

My main rant in this writing has to do with the rally cap. C'mon, folks. We realize that the rally cap is a good ploy to ask assistance from the "Baseball Deities", but please don't pull it out in the first five-to-six innings, or while you're in the lead (of the game or the series). It looks ridiculous and the people sitting near you will most likely make fun of you.

Lets examine this term:

rally :n

1: a large gathering of people intended to arouse enthusiasm
2: the feat of mustering strength for a renewed effort

Example: "He singled to start a rally in the 9th inning."

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the use of the Rally Cap and I'm pretty sure I should have been using mine for a better part of last week, but don't be "that guy".

In a final note to this article, I'd just like to say... Detroit... break 'em out, because it's not looking good at the middle of the 8th inning, being down 2 runs to 4, trailing 3-1 in the series.

/breaks out Detroit cap, turns it inside out, parks it on head

To the other baseball fans, whose teams didn't do so well this year, here's to April 1st, 2007!

P.S. My friend Travis Schaffner clued me into the following hilarious baseball parody: The Dugout. You've gotta check it out!

Ok, I’m not usually in an odd mood. But all I have had today are peanut butter filled pretzels. (which are actually very good..but not as a meal.) I have been quite overdue in providing material for this blog. Because of my low blood sugar, I went with the first thing that was in my head.

Without further adieu: techy things I do not enjoy lately.

• FaxSpam to my eFax number. Although the rates are good for a Caribbean cruise, I think I’ll pass. And Joannie- I don’t care what weight loss plan you recommend. I like daily dose of junk food. $12.95 a month for worthless faxes. I should get rid of it, but I’m lazy. And on the days when no one emails me, I can always hope eFax will actually have something for me to read that’s worthwhile. My personal fav is a shared web hosting company who keeps faxing me their latest deals. I keep thinking I’ll send them a fax and say I wanna sign up and see what happens.

• ESPN Motion – Every time I try to check my fantasy teams (all of which stink anyway), that dang video player automatically starts up and scares the crap out of me. Today’s video: Ashton Kutcher is ready for some football. Oooo, awesome! Is he one of the rowdy friends here on Monday night? If so, I’m going to a different party.

• My Cingular.com: I keep on getting messages that my cell bill is available to look it. But, its not, cause I merged my cell bill with my AT&T home account. So they ask me to log into AT&T account manager to see the bill. I do and they don’t have it cause…I’m a Cingular customer. ARGH. And for some reason, the site keeps showing me as owning a Motorola V551, which I don’t. But they are so nice to give me all the information I could ever want on the V551, including the .pdf version of the handbook. Got bored so I read it. Nice phone. Maybe I should get it cause…..

• I can’t seem to read an Excel spreadsheet on my Crackberry. Maybe I’m fat fingering the keys. I could just be not worthy of having one. I dunno, maybe I should actually read the directions to figure it out. Umm, nah..wouldn’t be the “guy” thing to do.

• Yahoo’s New Message Board. I liked it when all the messages were in order. Now topics are grouped and its hard to follow daily rants or off topic conversations, especially when someone changes the title of the message. Nothing funny to say about this one, just something that does really bug me. Honestly.

• Windows XP. Ok, so I’m late to the party. Usually, I can deal with the occasional freezing (I am in Chicago, ya know). But soon as I loaded up iTunes 7.0, my PC has frozen every time I try to undock myPod. myPod does not like to be stuck. myPod is sensitive about these things.

Yeah..prolly best for me to get lunch now. Thanks for listening. Next time, I promise to eat a sensible meal before I compose something for your general consumption.