Fun Topics

Everyone here at FastServers.Net knows that I have an affinity of New Orleans…the music, the food, the atmosphere, and of course, the Abita beer. So it’s pretty obvious that I’d do a little somethin’ somethin’ (or should I say lagniappe) for Fat Tuesday here at the office.

Last year I surprised everyone with a big pot of home-made Jambalaya, a fistful of beads, and a King Cake delivered from Gambino’s bakery. It was our little Mardi Gras celebration here at FastServers.Net (but I think Travis got a bit tired of me screaming, “THROW ME SOMETHING, MISTER!!!” every time he paraded past my office).

I decided to cook up some chicken and andouille sausage gumbo and vegetarian red beans & rice for this year’s Fat Tuesday festivities. On the Saturday before Mardi Gras, I headed over to my favorite place to get Tasso and Andouille, Paulina Meat Market and then picked up the “holy trinity” at the produce market. Earlier in the week, I’d also blown in a quick order to FastServers.Net customer Cajun Supermarket for some Gumbo File and spices so I had them at the ready. I was all set to do some Cajun cooking during the Super Bowl.

My love of New Orleans started back in ’88 when I was invited to fly down to the Crescent City for Mardi Gras. My best friend, Tim W. Brown, called me one blustery January day and told me that in a few weeks, he was driving down to New Orleans during Carnival to visit Kim, a good friend from grad school who was down there teaching at UNO. Kim had embraced the whole “Southern Hospitality” thing and her place had become known as the “Kim-on-Inn” due to her exceptional generosity and willingness to put people up at her apartment for Jazz Fest, Mardi Gras or whenever someone wanted to visit. So of course, she was fine with Tim inviting me down as well. Tim suggested I fly down the Sunday before Fat Tuesday and ride back with him to Chicago during the first days of Lent, tired, reticent and thoroughly debauched.

Now mind you, this was my first “real” vacation. I had never been on a plane before and had never been farther than the states bordering Illinois since I was two years old. Lately, I had been working two jobs for a while, one job or the other (or often both) every single day. I was really ready for a vacation. New Orleans fit the bill and it sure delivered. Within hours of arriving, I was hooked on the whole scene, especially since Kim was such a terrific host. She got us to great spots to watch the best parades (having friends that live along the parade route is key), great places to hang out, and great, not-to-miss places like Jean Lafitte’s, Pat O’Brien’s, and the Voodoo Museum. She also made sure we had the gumbo at Coop’s, a muffuletta sandwich from Central Grocery and in honor of A Confederacy of Dunces, the occasional Lucky Dog to keep us going.

A while after I got back from New Orleans, I discovered a Red Beans recipe in one of my cookbooks and started perfecting my Cajun cooking.

STATE'S EXHIBIT "A" (( HAWT ))

On a subsequent trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras in ‘95, Tim and I packed the trunk with crawfish, boudin, and oysters to take back North. I wanted to share our New Orleans culinary haul with friends, so even though it was the Sunday following Fat Tuesday…the Inaugural Mardi Gras Brunch was born. The annual event soon grew to include around 70 of my closest friends stopping by on a Sunday afternoon to have Hurricanes, Abita, Blackened Voodoo Lager and my spread of Jambalaya, Red Beans and Rice, Crawfish Pie, Shrimp Creole, and of course, King Cake. Even with the help of my girlfriend Michele and our cat Nefertiti (acting as executive chef and watching the proceedings from her bar stool) it still took about three days to prepare the spread for the brunch. With that much food, I didn’t have enough room to store it all in the refrigerator. But thanks to the wonderful Chicago winters, I had a deep freeze/cooler as big as my whole back yard. I would just pop everything in a cooler on the back porch.

So you can see I had gotten experienced at putting together some New Orleans fare for a large number of people. The gumbo and red beans would be a piece of (king) cake. I had time because the Mardi Gras brunch wasn’t happening this year since Easter (and thus Fat Tuesday) is as early as it could possibly be and the normal date was in conflict with some type of football game. Besides, I felt that I had just barely survived the holidays with my mind and liver intact. I just couldn’t pull it together this early. Cooking a Fat Tuesday Lunch for the great FastServers.Net crew would help keep my Cajun cooking chops sharp.

Sunday was spent cooking up a storm with big pots of gumbo and beans on the stove. Once they cooled, I did my usual back porch fridge thing, setting the pots in the snow. I get a call from home while at work on Monday:

Michele: “What did you do with the gumbo?”
Me: “It’s out on the back porch in the pots.”
Michele: “Did you tape the lids shut?”
Me: “No, I didn’t think it was necessary.”
Michele: “What about the opossums.”
Me: “Opossums don’t like gumbo.”
Michele: “I’m going to tape down the lids anyway.”
Me: “Knock yourself out.”

Monday night I got everything together to take down to the office the next morning. I assembled the utensils, the chafing dishes, the burners, and the King Cake together and ready to go. I then transferred the gumbo and red beans to aluminum pans that will fit into the steam table, sealed them up with the aluminum lids and returned them to my outdoor refrigeration unit.

Timeline of the horrendous crime:

24:00, Monday – I retire for what I hope to be a great night’s sleep
04:00, Tuesday – The cat is spazzing out, running up and down the stairs…usually a sign that she’s got an empty food bowl and wants to make us pay by waking us up. I check and see that she’s got provisions. Maybe it's a full moon.
05:00, Tuesday – More cat shenanigans. This is getting old. She finally calms down.
07:30, Tuesday – I get up and discover…we’ve been robbed and vandalized.

You guessed it...opossums do like gumbo. The little robbers ripped back the lid and stuck their little marsupial faces in it. There were a bunch of tracks leading from the back of the yard up the steps and right to the ripped up and poked lid. I like how they used my hard work in shoveling out a path as their little gumbo freeway.

STATE'S EXHIBIT "B" (( PWN3D ))

I picked up the pan and walked back into the kitchen. I stood, watery-eyed and sniffing a bit, and then dumped all that hard work and great gumbo down the sink under the “I told you so” gaze of Michele and the “I heard 'em snackin' last night. I tried to alert you, you idiot” look from the cat. Luckily, our little bandits didn’t seem to care for the red beans, so at least half of the Mardi Gras lunch was safe and without desecration; all was not lost. It turned out to be another good Fat Tuesday celebration at FastServers.Net (and a healthy one as well). So after all, we could say, “Laissez les bon temps roulez!”

Well the holiday season is officially upon us, or as someone commented at a pre-holiday Sunday brunch last week, “It is now officially the season of eating.”

Here comes back the weight I lost by being subjected to my girlfriend’s raw diet a couple of months ago. Oh for the days where virtually nothing stuck to my ribs and I could down one bachelor unit of Tombstone pizza or Ben and Jerry’s (a whole frozen pizza or pint size carton respectively) without feeling and showing the aftereffects. Wait a minute…this is Thanksgiving, not a gripe session. Rewind.

Though I’m not the biggest fan of holidays, I’m looking forward to seeing the in-laws and my own family. It’s gotten to the point where we’re all so busy that the holidays are the mainstay for seeing them again and catching up. Sure, it means some marathon driving over the course of the next couple of days, but it’s by no means unbearable (must…fight…crankiness). A couple of hours drive (thankfully not in a car that breaks down twice a week as in the "old days") and we’re sitting around the table talking, laughing, eating and celebrating what this holiday is really all about. It’s all good.

This year there’s the stock things for which to be thankful. Everyone has been healthy. My father has had the opportunity to enjoy his retirement by moving into a new home and doing some traveling. My mother and I spent a rare weekend together…just us…traveling to Wabash, Indiana (I’m thankful she’s finally used to my driving…or maybe I’ve slowed down) to tour our ancestor James Ford’s historic home. Our “cousins” at the home were extremely hospitable and welcoming. It was a great time spent.

Personally, I’m thankful for hooking up with a bunch of new found friends in Old Town School of Folk Music’s Proto Punk Ensemble. For the first time ever, I realized a long-time dream of playing and singing in front of an audience. (I’m thankful no one tossed rotten fruit). I even got to embarrass myself with my Iggy Pop impression. Like everything else…it’s ended up on Youtube. I’m happy (and thankful) to finally have that creative outlet. It’s gotten me to think about getting a band put together again (I think some people would be thankful if I didn’t). It’s never too late…

Finally, I have to say that I’m thankful that I work with a bunch of great people here at FastServers.Net. I enjoy every day here in the fast-paced, constantly changing world of dedicated servers. It’s no wonder that I was more nervous leaving my interview than arriving for it. I knew that this company was special and I wanted to be a part of it. It sounds hokey I know, but it’s true.

Well, time for myself and some coworkers to be thankful that someone put yeast, hops, and grain together. Everyone have a safe, wonderful Thanksgiving. Cheers!

Somebody please tell me why they call it a “Fun Run”? As a novice runner, I made a pledge to get a 5K run under my belt this summer. Little did I know, I would be taking on a serious lifestyle change. As a frequent gym loafer (reading magazines while on the treadmill or bike and/or going to the gym to sit in the sauna)I never really maximized my workout. Retraction: most women maximize their workout when they see a cutie pie in the gym or another chick with abs and a butt of steel. One day while running on the treadmill, this guy comes over to me and tells me that I’m “popping”. If you’re like me, the first thing that came to mind was popcorn. Especially since the Power Bar I had recently eaten wasn’t doing the trick. What he meant was I was popping up and down and not running “heal toe”. This is when you place your heel down first and then your toes which help prevent injuries.

The more interesting tidbits I started to discover about the sport, the more I wanted to jump right into it. After registering for my 5K, I thought I could just lace up, get out there on the trail and start training. Wrong! I’m here to witness to the fact that there are some spoken and unspoken rules of the road. Here are a few tidbits I have learned along the way:

How to Run: First stretch. I notice when I don’t do it enough I feel it the next day. My co-workers can attest to this fact as I have been seen limping around the FastServers.Net office. It is absolutely a requirement to stretch before and after the run. At the present moment, I run long distances at a slow, gradual pace. If you have seen those runners who look like they are Rocky B. on the way to the Philadelphia Museum, this is probably not the best method for a newbie. To maximize a distance run, it is important to keep a steady pace with your hands down at the waist without clenched fists of steel! Are those guys running or about to start a fight?

Buying new Shoes: Before I got serious, I had an old pair of dusty New Balance’s that I got out of the Eastbay catalog in 2000. Now I know that shoes should be worn about 250-400 miles and not over two years. Now I’m flying fast and fancy free in my Mizuno Waves! I even picked up an extra pair of Asics. There is a really cool store just outside of city that that specializes in finding the right shoes for your structure and activity level. They even let you do a test run in them. https://www.runningforkicks.com

Join a Running Group: I have found that even the least victory-hungry person can hone in on their competitive streak and get motivated by running with others. For example, there is a chick in my group who simply insisted on running in front of me and tossing her ponytail in the wind (in my face). That was the fuel I needed. Needless to say she only tried that once. Now she tosses that tail on someone else. Our group members also hold conversations while running. This is excellent for keeping a steady rhythm of breath. By running with others you can also get the proper training on your form. My coach has been running for over 30 years. The second I start popping he gives me a shout.

Rules of the Road: As with every environment there are unspoken rules. From my experience, I have found there is a pecking order between the groups on the road. Bikers are at the top, next runners, and lastly walkers. This is primarily true because of the amount of speed the particular group exerts. Yes, bikers will damn near run you over and not “call it out”. This means they should say “on your left or right” when approaching. Some runners get irritated by walkers because they are slow and consequentially, walkers shun runners due to the shear fact that they are the slowest on the trail. It’s all exercise though, right? Below is a bit of lingo I picked up along the way and some stuff that is LOL funny:

Runners Lingo/Slang:
“What’s your distance? Or “What’s your PR?“ -how far do you run?
Clydesdale - a heavy weight runner.
Carbo Loading - bulk up on carbs (typically pasta) the night before a big run.
Overpronation- when your foot rolls inward while running.
Dick Cheney Racing Strategy- when one thinks they have the race won before it starts.
chub rub - chafing caused by fat thighs rubbing together.
hit the wall - a sudden crash in which you die so suddenly it’s as if you ran into a wall

Runners High? It has been said after prolonged amounts of running, an individual starts to get an uplifted feeling or a sense that they are high. Many say that every athlete experiences this state because they are working to their maximum potential which leads you to feeling like you are on top of the world. I haven’t experienced it, but I guess I have something to look forward to! Who knew that you could experience nirvana while exercising?
So the 5K I registered for is a part of the Scenic 10-Mile Run. I know I can run an outstanding time because I just recently ran 8.5 miles. So the question remains, why do they call it a Fun Run? Maybe it’s the pleasure of knowing that you can achieve a small but daunting feat while competing against others. Whatever the case, I’m prepared. I’m geared up and ready to run. http://www.scenic10.com/Race_Info/race_info.html

Myspace. We have all heard of it. Many of us even have accounts. But do we really know the rules of engagement? Ask yourselves this question “Isn’t there a need for Myspace Etiquette?”

I have a friend/co-worker that shall remain nameless. Prior to the first day of training for our job, friend/coworker requested me on Myspace as his friend. Keeping in mind, I don’t know his profile name and I have only met him once before, I accept him going on the basic knowledge of what I see on his profile page. Once I accept him he sends a message asking what time training starts. Good God Man!! Dangit!! He has got me! Now some would look at this as an intrusion of privacy. A set up even. But friend/co worker has got me. Now we are friends on Myspace.

The thing here is..sure we are cool now.. we work together and have similar interests and the like. But wasn’t it a bit presumptuous of him to think just because we work together I would want him all up and through on my Myspace page? Granted, I’m not big on porn and you probably won’t find the usual sex starved, blonde, bosomy chick on my page as my friend. But isn’t this an intrusion? After my interview with the company, did my future boss look me up on Myspace too? Was the decision of hiring me based on how many friends I have or if I had cool music?

I know.. a bit over the top.. but you get were I’m going with this..

My best friend has another more extreme Myspace circumstance, she actually has a Myspace stalker. She has repeatedly denied said dude on countless occasions. So what did he do? He requests her friends under an alias. Different name, different picture, same tired, lame excuse for a man (no I’m not male bashing) Known said lame is now down with my friend’s network of peeps.

He knew everything about my friend. The kind of music she likes, the type of organizations she affiliates herself with.. everything.. the whole shebang . . He got real slick with it and waited it out. A month before anybody even knew who he really was, he then requested my friend.
How did she find out it was him you ask? Mr. Tired Lame sent a message requesting her friendship with the same tag he used previously “ I think your booty.. oops I mean beauty is amazing. Please be my friend.” Whaaaatt??

With that said.. I have conjured up a few Myspace Laws of Etiquette that Tom just may want to take notice to.

1. Thou shall not request a new friend with out first sending a message (it’s just rude to not at least send a quick shout out to say wassup your supposed new “friend”

2. Thou shall not request a person once they have already been denied. Chances are if
they didn’t want you the first time…

3. Thou shall not request friends that are not related to their particular industry (co-
worker friend sorry but this applies to you. Unless you are into commercial acting and
voice over’s you’re outta the mix son..)

4. Thou shall not "email" me on myspace to say "what’s up" if you have my number and
have known me for more than 5 years...pick up a phone , im me, text me or email me.

5. Thou shall not put a message on my comments talking about how good I look when
clearly it states that I’m "Married" on my profile....my husband is an ex football
player.. he’ll get at you!

6. Thou shall not post flyers or pluggers in my comments sections with a file size bigger
than 200KB.. don’t you know I’ve got other friends who are “just stopping by to say
hi?”

I could go on and on but I fear I don’t have enough time or space in my designated FS blog section. But I think the message here is pretty darn clear. If you are on Myspace, the same basic laws of etiquette apply to this online community. Act human. Be civil. And if you feel the need to request someone’s friendship and you have a notion that they may not accept you, keep perusing. Because sending out a request and receiving a denial may just prompt you to have to use the Myspace Laws of Etiquette.

Tomorrow evening many of our lives get back to "normal" here in the States, at least... Major League Baseball finally gets it's regular season underway, in the midwestern Mecca of the sport that's known simply as: St. Louis.

My beloved Cardinals begin the defense of their championship at home against the Metropolitans Sunday night- (ESPN, naturally). It's going to be a tumultuous season, people. Many of the citizens dearest to me here in Chicago are affiliated with the overspenders from the north side of the city, an organization that I've loathed since birth. These people aren't un-intelligent, per se, and I do and always will respect their tenacious devotion to the futility of Cubdom, that goes without saying... I just don't understand how every late winter and spring fields the same, ridiculous optimism for these devotees. Try "guarded anticipation" instead, and you won't risk embarrassing your ancestors, (as much).

I haven't been beat up yet in Chicago and I've lived here for nearly two years now. This perplexes many, many people. Considering the city's expectations (and my gaping maw) for both the Cubs & Sox in '07, it's very likely that my fisticuffs streak will finally end. Regardless, there's certainly a verifiable buzz in the air, whether or not inevitable bloodbath(s) exist just over the horizon. I'll keep you posted on my fight record. Let's hope we can keep the engagements as "PG" as possible, if you don't mind.

Oh, I've got *just* the example for that. Glad you asked. And don't yell at me once this turns out being better than the movie itself. (It already did for this particular kid.)
Observe-

___________________________________________

And now... let's "Play Ball" !

Currently I am in the middle of writing new profiles for 36 FastServers.Net employees. If there is one thing I have learned so far, it is that we have some very unique and interesting personalities on staff. In fact, they are so unique that I thought maybe you would want me to share a couple of them with you.

First up is Steven Anderson. He is the Director of Inside Sales at the downtown Chicago office. What is so unique about Steven? Well, for starters, he owns a massive music collection, consisting of 1500 LPs and CDs. That is quite impressive, don’t you think? Why does he have so many? Well, back in his college days at Northern Illinois University, he was a radio personality for the school’s student radio station. And when he wasn’t “on air,” he was at a local bar spinning records as the DJ.

But wait, there is a lot more this music aficionado has in his collection. Steven knows about every music venue or festival that you would ever want to see in Chicago. When I was interviewing him, he was going on and on about all these venues and festivals that he has either seen or will attend during the year. Not just one or two, a complete list. Hence the title of this BLOG post, “Hey DJ, Keep Playing That Song.”

Steven is also, at least to my knowledge, the only employee in the company who owns a car that dates back to the 50s. He has a 1955 Chevy Bel Air. Isn’t that cool? For those of you who are car enthusiasts, or if you just want to see what a ’55 Bel Air looks like, I have included a link to a stock photo of one in Steven’s full profile. And if you are a fan of cars like I am, regardless of what year they are, you too will appreciate Steven’s classic car.

Read Steven’s profile at:

http://www.fastservers.net/about-contact/steven-anderson.html

If learning about Steven’s collection of 1500 LPs and CDs impressed you, wait until you read about Monmini Kabre. We call him “Mo” because it is much easier. Anyway, Mo grew up in Ivory Coast, just off the coast of West Africa, and has a set of special skills that nobody in the company can match. The amazing thing about Mo is that he speaks, reads, and writes five languages. Well, he says he is not a fluent speaker of German. Regardless, when he told me that he knows five languages at the FastServers.Net 2006 Christmas party, I was taken back a bit.

How often do you meet someone who can speak, read and write in five different languages? If you are like me, it is not that often. I have met people that speak two languages, but not five. In fact, most people struggle with just one. Moving on, let me give you a quick rundown of the languages Mo knows:

· French
· German
· English
· Gouro
· Mossi
· Swahili

But that is not all. Mo is a fanatic about soccer. He played growing up, during college, and also plays for a recreational league in Chicago. For all you soccer fans out there, Mo has played in various parts of the world. So if you know any of the languages (besides English) listed above, or you are a fan of soccer, call Mo and speak to him in one of his many native tongues.

Read Mo’s profile at:

http://www.fastservers.net/about-contact/mo-kabre.html

I may have only mentioned two personalities in this post. That is okay because there will be many more posts like this one. This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many diverse and unique personalities on the team. In my next post, I will introduce you to a couple more people. And trust me, they are unique.

If you have anything in particular you would like me to write (BLOG) about, please send an email to dy@fastservers.net. I always look forward to hearing from customers. Or if you just like to read the FastServers.Net web site and BLOG, contact me anyway.

So what does the average FastServers employee do during the holiday season? Outside of making delicious Holiday Cow Cookies? Well, I took an informal poll today and here are the results.

• Take care of your servers. Cause that’s what we do!
• Run between all of the family and friends houses, eat 5 different dinners, and then sleep for 3 days due to all the tryptophan in the turkey.
• Put “Tab A” into “Slot B” on one of the kids 40 or so Holiday gifts, while they become more amused by the gift boxes.
• Enjoy College Bowl Mania and watch all 36 bowl games that are on. My Fav – "The Petro Sun Independence Bowl" with that dazzling matchup of two 6-6 bemoths!...ROLL TIDE
• Sleep some more
• Do the CVS/Walgreens/Piggly Wiggly run and buy gift cards for for friends and family since I forgot to shop until now.
• Take 2 large quarts of gourmet popcorn on a flight back home as a gift. Well, the popcorn did cost almost $100….
• Make some more Holiday Cow Cookies. If your from Iowa and that’s the only cookie cutter left, it begins to make more sense.
• Get awash in holiday cheer at one of the local watering holes
• Sleep even more (wow, we have some real tired people here!)
• Recording a net-loss (Total Cost of Gifts out < Total Cost of Gifts in )
• Waiting for Mother Nature to turn rain into snow
• Buying some more Clorox Wipes...as they are the best invention EVAR!
• Monitoring the Hot Stove League to see if the Twins can get any good pitchers

To you and yours: Have a happy and safe holiday season. We appreciate your business and look forward to working with you in the new year!